Grief
by UltimateOptimist
Summary: Izzie is dead, how is Alex feeling? Please R and R first ever Grey's fic


**Hi!! This is my first venture into Grey's Anatomy, I love the show and have been watching it ahead online (as i live in the UK but don't have living *sighs*) And i wanted to write something about Alex (my fav) and Izzie....well here it is! I'm using lyrics from Cascarda's everytime we touch (I don't like them but i like the acoustic version of this song and it sort of fits..)**

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_I still here your voice when you sleep next to me….._

_I still feel your touch in my dream….._

Alex sat on the bench near the hospital entrance, his eyes looking at the things around him but not really seeing anything. Nothing was important right now, Izzie was gone. He could have sworn when he woke this morning she was there next to him, he could still smell her shampoo. But when he opened his eyes, he was alone and cold, not in the warmth of an embrace.

_Forgive me my weakness but I don't know why, without you it's hard to survive._

Tears began to fill in his eyes as he remembered the woman he loved, her smile, her laugh. He could feel his hands trembling and immediately curled them into fists. He hated to show weakness but he couldn't help it, the one woman he had truly cared for was gone and she could never come back. His vision was blurred and he felt a tear roll down his cheek.

_Cause every time we touch I get this feeling, and every time we kiss I swear I could fly…._

Why? Why her? Why did he have to fall in love with her? Why did she have to die? He remembered all the kisses they shared and he smiled sadly, he would no longer feel the touch of her soft lips or feel her fingers caress his skin. The kind of touch that sent shivers down your spine, to know you both truly share a connection. After everything with Rebecca Izzie had been the one who stayed up with him while he talked of his mother, his past, about Rebecca and the emotions he felt. The cold wind bit into his skin and yet he didn't move. He needed to feel something after days of feeling numb. It was his first shift back and all he could think about was her, little things around the hospital kept reminding him of her.

_Can you feel my heart beat fast? I want this to last I need you by my side………._

He wanted her hear now, to tell him it'll be ok. Just to have one more kiss or hug, a conversation…to say goodbye properly. Why she hadn't told him until later he didn't know. In a way it annoyed him, to think of all the time he had wasted, not just when she had found out she was sick but the time with Addison, her time with Denny, he should have fought for her yet instead he let her go….wasted months that he could have spent loving her openly.

_Cause every time we touch I feel the static, and every time we kiss I reach for the sky…._

He needed her. How could he live without her? He felt more tears spill down his cheeks as he closed his eyes. This was the first time he had cried since…since she passed away.

_You arms are my castle, your heart is my sky, They wipe away tears that I cry……_

Meredith watched from a distance, her own tears threatening to fall. She missed her friend, and her heart broke as she watched Alex. He had been so lost since that night. As if he isn't living just existing in this world.

_The good and the bad times we been through them all…you make me rise when I fall…._

Alex could feel his whole body begin to shake as he thought of all the good and bad things he and Izzie faced together. If he had a bad day he would sit and talk to her about it, and vice versa. It didn't matter if anyone cried or showed the dreaded weakness every surgeon felt as neither ever mentioned it afterwards. After Denny died, he was the one who picked her up, held her as she sobbed through the night. When Rebecca went crazy she sat with Alex. They hadn't always been that close though, he thought with a wry smile, remembering when he had put up posters of her modelling all around the hospital. It didn't matter though, none of it did, she knew he loved her…idly he wondered if she felt the same. Or was Denny her true love? Were they both happy together now? He hoped that if it was what she wanted then it was happening..

_Cause every time we touch I get this feeling and every time we kiss I swear I could fly………_

"Bye Iz" he whispered. One day they'd meet again. Kiss again and he could get the warmth feeling back in his heart. Taking a deep breath he stood up and rubbed his face with his hands….it was time to get back to work….


End file.
